Idris and the Question That Wouldn't Sit Still

Idris was nine and full of questions. So many questions that his teacher had once joked, gently, 'Idris, I think your brain has its own brain.' One night, lying in bed, Idris got the biggest question of his life. 'If Allah made everything,' he whispered to the dark, 'then who made Allah?'

The question scared him a little. He felt like maybe he wasn't supposed to ask it. But it wouldn't sit still inside his head. The next morning, he asked his mama. His mama smiled and said, 'That's a beautiful question, beta. Ask your baba tonight.' He asked his baba. His baba ruffled his hair and said, 'Hmm. Let's ask the imam after Jummah.'

After Jummah, Idris stood in front of the imam, suddenly shy. The imam — a tall man with a soft voice — knelt down so he was the same height. 'What's your question, young scholar?' Idris took a breath. 'Who made Allah?'

The imam didn't laugh. He didn't look surprised. He just smiled, like the question was an old friend. 'Idris,' he said, 'Allah was not made. Everything that has a beginning needs someone to begin it. But Allah has no beginning. He always was, and always will be. Surah Al-Ikhlas teaches us this — Allah is Samad, the One who does not need anything, while everything needs Him. He was not born. He did not have parents. There is nothing like Him at all.'

Idris frowned, thinking very hard. 'So… my brain can't really fit Him.' The imam laughed kindly. 'Exactly. If our small brains could fit Allah, He wouldn't be the great Allah. The fact that He is bigger than your understanding is a sign that He is real.'

Idris went home quiet for once. That night, when he made dua, he said, 'Ya Allah, I don't fully understand You. But I love You. Thank you for being bigger than my questions.' And somehow, his brain — for the first time in a long time — felt perfectly, peacefully still.